


Orange Chrysanthemum

by moe20112233



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Lance, Depression, Fluff, Fluffy, Gay Keith, IT JUST INFLUENCES EVERYTHING, Injured Lance, Keith is a gay disaster, Laith, Langst, M/M, PTSD, Paralysis, Physical Therapist AU, Survivors Guilt, THE MAJOR DEATH HAPPENS BEFORE THE STORY EVEN STARTS, Will have a happy ending, at least I don't think so, but I don't want anyone to go in unprepared, but theres langst cause I make my boy suffer, cute lance, cute stuff, klance, lance is a sweet heart, nothing is super detailed, paralyzed lance, physical therapist keith, possible trigger warning, this is super cute btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2019-12-26 21:46:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18290864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moe20112233/pseuds/moe20112233
Summary: After a devastating car accident in which Lance is left paralyzed from the waist down he must adjust to his new life while bound to a chair. However with the help of Keith, New York's best Physical Therapist, he may have a chance of walking again.





	1. Aconite

**Author's Note:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aconite, meaning hatred or 'be-cautious' a poisonous plant of the buttercup family, which bears hooded pink or purple flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!

From the moment he was put on this Earth, Lance was born to explore. When he was just six weeks old, still frail enough that he couldn’t hold up his own head, he was wiggling around in his crib trying to discover every nook and cranny beneath the sheets his grandmother had hand sewed for him. The videos his mother took showcased him moving about as if he were a worm rather than a boy, and everytime he found something new there was always this squeak of wonder that would ring out, as if that was why he did it. That the discovery was enough to make all the wiggling worth it. 

By the time he could crawl his parents had to invest in a child playpen to keep him within the confines of the living room where they could safely eye him. Everytime he wasn’t within the confines of that child prison he was moving. And when he finally learned to walk? Well then all bets were off. Lance learning to walk was the McClain family signing up for a never ending game of hide and seek tag. They couldn’t take their eyes off him for a second or he’d be gone. No longer could toys be enough to quench his thirst for the unknown, now he sought new faces and places. He wouldn’t be satiated until he sat on top of a mountain and had the whole world presented to him on a silver platter. 

When Lance was 3 he was taken to the ocean. His mother describes that first experience as almost comical. The way his eyes lit up and danced along with the light glistening against the waves. How he’d taken two steps into the sand and immediately lost his balance face planting into the ground. But he got back up immediately, and even despite sand in his eyes and his siblings chasing to catch him he rammed into the salty ocean water. And suddenly Lance had a new spectacle to behold. The deep blue then consumed his every waking thought. He ran around the beach after school, dangled his legs off the pier to watch the sunrise, and swam whenever there was no excuse to stay dry. That was how he lived his life. Moving. 

Lance just moved, it was what he did. He had to move to breath, to just stay afloat in life. The world moved around other people but Lance McClain liked to think he moved around the world. Movement kept life steady and paced… and then the accident hit. 

Lance wished he could say he didn’t remember it. He wished desperately he could say that it didn’t haunt his thoughts every time he so much as closed his eyes, but he did remember. He could still here the sounds. The sound of metal clashing and crumpling upon collision, the sound of glass shattering, of horns honking, people screaming, someone crying, blood rushing, sirens blaring-... he could remember it. There wasn’t much in terms of sight however, just garbled flash frames of the car spiraling around between him clenching his eyes shut in fear. There was one point where blood had dripped into his eye and for a minute everything he saw was stained red including- _her_. He remembered the other car, barely even a scratch on the driver who had done it. The smoke, the destruction, the _Death_. Death followed him like a stench through the hospital, she sat at the edge of his gurnee during his rushed surgery, and she held his hand all night long while he waited for her to finally take him away. 

The next couple weeks were the steepest learning curve he’d ever had to through himself at. Like a cliff but he was terrified to take the jump. Suddenly he couldn’t move. Suddenly the boy who’d spent his whole life moving was trapped- a bird in a cage, a fish in a tank, a dog in a crate. Bound to a chair twenty four hours a day seven days a week, he felt helpless. He couldn’t even go to the bathroom without needing to have someone help him onto the seat. His legs may have still been attached but it didn’t feel that way. It felt like half of him had been ripped from himself and he was nothing but a broken shell of empty promises and lost potential. And he knew he shouldn’t feel that way, that this was nothing but a freak accident and that bad things happen all the time. He knew that handicapped people could still do the things he loved to do, but the trappings of one's own mind after a traumatic event are much like that of a spider's web; deceptively beautiful, intricate and impossible to escape. 

It had taken weeks for Lance to find the energy to get out of bed and eat something, now always finding the task of moving difficult and cumbersome. Needing help constantly and being drown in feelings of burdening, he sunk. Eventually however he seemed to find some sort of footing, likely around the same time he got the good news that his paralysis was not permanent. That with time and patience he would one day be able move once more and return to the life he so wished he could grasp. 

 

 

“Dr. Kogane? You’re 2:15 is here, Lance McClain. He’s in room 113.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in a minute.”, Keith Kogane, nurse practitioner turn best physical therapist in New York state. A title which he’d garnered only three years after taking the job. Now at age 27 he stood as the youngest head of facilities that Marmora clinic has ever seen. And as such, he was a hot commodity among those in need of a physical therapist. 

He wasn’t particularly exstatic about his profession but it wasn’t the worst thing he could be doing. His original goal had been to become a brain surgeon, however late into his first year of medical school his brother suffered an awful injury while serving overseas for the military. He lost his arm and had to go through massive amounts of PT to regain most of his mobility. Keith couldn’t see him go through that alone. So he changed course and became a physical therapist. He became someone who could help his brother and those who have suffered similar traumas, and yeah- it was no brain surgery, but he made a difference to people. And that felt good. 

“Mr. McClain?”, Keith asked knocking on the door and looking down at the chart he was given of Lance’s medical history, “I’m Dr. Kogane, it’s nice to meet yo-”, Looking up Keith was met with possibly the cutest boy he’d ever seen. Tan skin and piercing blue eyes all wrapped up in a light blue way too big hoodie with a sunshine smile for the bow on top. God Keith was such a disaster gay, ‘ _Get it together Keith, he’s your patient_ ’, “N-nice to meet you.”, He recovered smoothly holding his hand out for a shake.

Lance’s smile grew slightly as he returned the offered hand, his skin smooth against Keith’s calluses, “Nice to meet you. And call me Lance, Mr. McClain sounds super formal.”, And at with that there was the telltale droop in the tone of his voice that Keith had heard from most everyone of his patients. The slight low point that cracked. The smile that didn’t hide the fog behind eyes. The breathing that seemed unsteady and nervous. 

“Alright Lance.”, He said. The name Lance suited him, Keith had thought. A elegant and regal name that smoothed off the tongue, “Well this is just going to be a quick session so I can better understand what we’re working with and I can start planning a treatment plan that will work best.”, He explained. 

“Whatever will get me walking again.”, Lance grinned, he was practically bouncing in his chair, eager and ready.

Keith pulled out his computer and sat down at the table pulling up Lance’s online file along with the report he was sent from Lance’s primary physician and he began to probe questions about the accuracy of the information he was given before he started to actually perform a few tests. He’d helped Lance onto the bed and instructed him to lay on his back before holding his ankle and pushing his knee up and towards his body, “I’d like you to let me know if you start to feel any sort of muscle stretch below your hips.”, Keith kept pushing until he hit Lance’s stomach, “Anything?”

“N-no. Nothing.”, And despite trying to hide the crack in his voice it was clear that he was on the verge of breaking. 

“That’s okay. Doesn’t mean anything bad, just that it’s going to take a little more work.”, Keith assured, he may be bad at feelings but injury was something he was used to. He was used to dealing with people feeling like it was hopeless, he’d had to drag his brother from the edge of nothing and back when he lost his arm. So he could do that with Lance. Though he did have to admit, Lance’s case did seem to be one of his harder ones, it was very rare for someone suffering from parapalegery to ever make a recovery, and a _full_ recovery was damn near unheard of. Even once Lance started to walk again, it was unlikely he’d be able to go at the pace he once could. But this was just a first visit, so Lance didn’t need to hear about that yet. 

After about an hour they were done and Lance’s mother and older sister showed up to take him home and while Veronica was taking Lance to the car his mother stayed behind to talk with Keith, “So?”, She asked

“It’s… unlikely.”, Keith sighed, “But not impossible. I’m going to recommend he starts by coming in three times a week and as he starts to improve we can take it from there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	2. Lavender and Jasmine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavender and Jasmine, two flowers said to have healing properties. Often used in traditional herbal medicine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!

All too often Lance found himself drifting in an endless sea within his mind. His head would toy with the thought of an abyss and suddenly he would find himself ripped from the shore he sought so hard to stay near. Woefully unprepared for the deep dark that he could no longer seem to navigate on his own. He dreamed his unresponsive legs would somehow morph into a tale adorned with scales, then he could swim away and forget it all. But the reality was that he wasn’t in the ocean, he was in a chair, where he always was. 

He stared across his bedroom, a permanent frown adorning his face- when he was alone he couldn’t even find the strength to smile. Embellished bouquets of lavender and jasmine lined every inch of table space from his aunt who was an avid believer in nature's healing powers. All it did was make Lance miss the outside. To him it was a cruel reminder of what he’d lost. Of _who_ he’d lost. Everytime the flowers would wilt, and he’d think, ‘Finally an excuse to rid myself of them’, someone would show with another. The petals mocked him as they fell to the floor, withering and crumpling away much with his psyche. 

His phone buzzed. At this point there were hundreds of unanswered texts, calls, and emails- all he could do was pray that one day they would all disappear and people would just leave him alone. He wasn’t fine but he wouldn’t get any better with everyone constantly asking the question. He just wanted to move again. He would give anything to move again.

“Hello?”, His voice aimed at cheery but cracked and caved under the weight of his own lies leaving nothing but a scratched out hollow chord to ring through the air. Pitiful.

“Hey bud.”, Hunk came through, rays of sunshine attempting to burst through the speaker, “How are you?”

He sighed, supposing he would never hear the end of that dreaded question, “Alright I guess.”

“Your sister told me you haven’t left your house in days.”

“That's not true I was at therapy yesterday and I had physical therapy this morning-”

“Appointments don’t count.”, The note he sang screamed of a parent or teacher scolding someone for a poor choice, a cacophony of ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.’, Which was arguable worse, “Lance I’m just worried about you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I just need more time-”

“It’s been a two months since the accident.”, Somehow that revelation hit him like bag of bricks. Knocking the wind from his lungs and sending his eyes searching the wall for the telltale photo that had sent him into more crying spells than he could count. She was so young, so promising. Had it really been that long? That picture looked like it was right out of a movie, perfect focus and lighting. Her smile brighter than the sun behind her, “This isn’t good for you man.”

What would she say if she could see him now? No doubt she would frown and repeat much of what Hunk had been saying. After his first day of isolation she would have shown up with Starbucks before dragging his ass out of the house by force. The thought of it almost made him smile. _Almost_ , “Even if I wanted to go out and do something there’s nothing for me. I could do what? See a movie? No thanks.”

“You could come to the food pantry with me!”, Suddenly those rays of light shone brighter through his phone, perfectly mirroring Hunk’s enthusiasm. The food pantry was something he’d been trying to get Lance to do for a while, but something always got in the way. First it was school, then it was work, and then… the accident. “I’ve told everyone there so much about you! I know they’d love to meet you!”

“I don’t know Hunk. I’m not sure I’d be of much help-”

“Please Lance, you’ve always said how you want to meet everyone, this is the perfect time!”

“I said that before… People look at me differently because of the chair. They’d all just think of me as in the way. I’ve been told so many times that I can’t do anything in this thing so I should just stop trying and I don’t want to hear that again.”

He could hear Hunk sigh through the phone, “Whoever said that to you is an asshole. And an idiot. That chair doesn’t define who you are, you can still do anything anyone else can.”, Those were words he’d tried to tell himself over and over but they never seemed to stick to the velcro in his mind, “And the people down at Voltron aren’t like that. One of our guys is a veteran whose missing an arm, and if I’m being honest I think he winds up doing more work than all of us combined. Seriously the dude is a machine.”, Hunks tone lifted slightly, as it always did when he was happy. He was always happy when he talked about the people from Voltron. Lance remained quiet for a solid minute, clearly being expected to respond but finding himself unable to, “This is about Allura isn’t it?”

Sometimes he truly cursed Hunk for being able to read him so easily, simply from his breathing patterns he was able see through his facades. He picked apart Lance’s walls one by one, “I can’t see Alfor-”

“He doesn’t blame you Lance, he misses you.”

“Doesn’t matter if he blames me or not. I’m not ready to see-”

“I don’t care.”

“What?”

“I don’t care if you’re ready. You’ve had two months to get ready. I’m not going to let you keep shutting yourself out and hiding away. You’re my best friend and I want what's best for you so tomorrow I’m picking you up in the morning and you’re coming to Voltron. End of conversation.”, The speaker filled with the sound of rushing air as if Hunk was about to hang up but suddenly his voice filled the room once more, “And I’m bringing you breakfast because I love you and I’m not sure you’ve been eating enough.”

 

 

 

Terrified was an understatement. The uneven pavement below sent vibrations through his wheelchair that seemed to mimic the high and fast thrum of his heart, “Please don’t make me do this Hunk.”, He pleaded, but those words seemed to fall on deaf ears as the man behind him only continued to push him towards the heavy doors of Voltron Food Pantry. The building really had no business looking as intimidating as it did. A place where the homeless and less fortunate could seek help, it should have been warm and inviting. And perhaps with the smiling face of Allura it might have been. 

“This is going to be good for you. Trust me.”, He smiled placing a reassuring hand on Lance’s shoulder. He deposited Lance in front of the main desk before stepping behind it towards a managerial office of some sort, “I’ll be back in a second, I’m just letting Alfor know I’m here and getting the paperwork so you can start helping out.”

“Wait Hunk please don’t-”, But he was already gone. Lance didn’t enjoy being alone for one moment. He could feel the eyes of people tracing his chair and trying to decipher what was _wrong_ with him. Their judgemental gaze burned the back of his mind and eroded at his self esteem and sense of worth. Lost and alone, left like a child at the mall without his mother he felt the fear creep back around him and envelope his heart within its grasp.

“Hello sir, welcome to Voltron.”, A monotone man said. He looked a bit snobby, around Lance’s age as well, “You must be a first timer right? Well my name is Lotor, I can help you get set up with some food.”

“Oh- I’m not… I’m not in need-”, He stopped speaking when Lotor’ eyes raked over him and his eyebrow raised skeptically.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed man. Nothing wrong with needing a little help, let me guess couldn’t keep a job because of the chair and the disability pay isn’t enough? Trust me I’ve seen it a lot we can help-”

“I told you I don’t need your help.”, Lance was sure if he could move them his toes would be curling further in with every word this guy spoke. Now Lance’s tone may have been twisting into something less than kind but it wasn’t mean. Nothing to warrant the next words

“So then what’s some _crip_ doing in here if you don’t need help?”, Lotor crossed his arms defensively and his tone took on a nasty and accusatory prose, “What? The streets of New York too hard for someone like you to navigate? Think you can just sit in here and soak up our complimentary wifi and heating just cause your dumbass is stuck to a chair?”

“W- I- I’m here to-”

“You need to leave if you’re not here for a legitimate reason. This may be a charity but it’s for people who actually need it. Not fakers like you.”

Lance didn’t even know how this interaction had devolved so quickly, all he knew was that there was water stinging in his eyes and he couldn’t breath. Like an elephant had sat on his lungs with zero intent to get up and walk away, “Hey!”, Hunk called out, face angry and red.

“Don’t worry Hunk I was taking care of it-”, Lotor began only to be cut off.

“You don’t speak to Lance that way. He’s here to help out and you’re berating him because he’s in a wheelchair?”, Suddenly insults began to fly between the two until Lotor stormed off towards the door in a fit of rage. Hunk grabbed onto the back of Lance’s chair and quickly pushed him towards some volunteer/employee only hallways, “Are you okay? I’m sorry, he’s a dick”

“Hunk please stop.”

“I should have warned you about it”

“Hunk stop-”

“but everyone else is great I promise-”

“Hunk!”, Lance placed his hands on the wheels, wincing slightly as they rubbed raw against his hands before coming to a halt when Hunk got the message, “I told you this was a bad idea.”, It was at this point that the bigger man finally saw the tears slowly pouring down Lance’s face, “I shouldn’t be here.”, Hunk frowned.

“I’m sorry I left you alone. But please just, give this place one more chance. I swear to you no one else is like that. No one else is going to treat you like that.”, And Lance once again cursed Hunk because he always did have those round puppy dog eyes that only a monster could say no to.

“One hour. And then you take me home. Deal?”

“Deal!”, He smiled wide and wrapped his arms around the cuban boy in a tight hug, “You’re not going to regret this I promise!”, And began to wheel Lance down the hallway again, “So I got all your paperwork done, which means it’s time to meet everyone! They should all be in the boxing room. I know you’ll love them.”

“Finally! Hunk is here!”, A girls voice rang out, her hair short and her glasses thick- and maybe she was a boy? Lance couldn’t tell if he was being honest.

“And you must be his friend-”, A buff man smiled. This must have been the veteran Hunk had mentioned, as his arm was obviously made of some advanced prosthetic. 

“Lance?”, A voice asked from the side. Turning his head Lance saw a mop of black hair pulled into a ponytail poking out from behind a stack of boxes he was carrying.

“Dr. Kogane?”, And that was not fair- who gave his physical therapist the right to look so damn hot while he was holding heavy boxes and flexing his arms. Not fair.

“So you two know each other I see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


	3. Butterfly Weed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Butterfly weed- meaning Leave Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short update, I got a lot going on in life right now! Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!

He knew when he was spiraling. He knew when he was falling too far too fast. It was in the way his eyelids puffed out slightly, obstructing his vision; the way his cheeks felt sticky with dried tear tracks; the incessant screaming within the confines of his own head. Negative thoughts held gravitational pulls that sucked in all things around them, much like a dying star- only to collapse into a black hole. A void that no light could ever hope to escape from. Lance suddenly grabbed on Hunk’s hand like it was a lifeboat in the raging seas and pulled him down to whisper in his ear, “Please take me home.”, He pleaded, voice desperate and cracking under the pressure of his own thoughts. 

Hunk merely frowned in response and pulled away, “C’mon man, I thought we had a deal.”, And despite his disappointed face, Hunk’s hand clung to Lance’s just as tightly. Warm and comforting against the cold air of Voltron. And they did- but that was before _this_. Before every damn eye in the room was glued to him. Before he realised that everyone in this room knew what happened. That they were all- they all- He could never escape _her_. Try as he might to move on and forget, she was everywhere. Even his fucking doctor had known her. 

He chanced a look at Dr. Kogane, a move that turned to be a mistake. His eyebrows were twisted into some unreadable emotion that Lance in all his worry had immediately decided must have been disgust. He knew Allura, he knew what happened, he probably- like everyone else- and- God Lance didn’t even go to the fucking funeral because he was fucking comatose and-, “Hey- can you help me count how many tomato soup cans we have?”, the man with the prosthetic asked.

And he didn’t want to- he _really_ didn’t want to. **One**. Why would anyone just want to count tomato cans? **Two**. No one, that’s who. No one would want to. **Three**. But he counted anyway. **Four**. And strangely enough… **Five** , he felt better. **Six** , so he just kept counting. **Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten.**. He kept breathing. Breathing. Breathing. In and out. In and out, “Seventeen.”, And when he ripped his eyes away from the soup he saw warmth and a man like himself. A man missing something vital- but unlike Lance, this man had a smile, “How did you know to do that?”, He asked before he could even comprehend the words from his own mouth.

“I know a panic attack when I see one.”

“Sorry.”, The girls voice came soft through the room, “We didn’t mean to overwhelm you or anything.”

Lance’s hand went a bit more relaxed in Hunks and he slowly spoke, “That’s Pidge in the corner. The guy with the scar on his nose is Shiro, and I guess you already know Keith.”, instead of all saying a loud hello like they had when he entered the room, Hunk’s friends merely offered smiles as their welcome, “This is one of our storage rooms, we mostly keep soups and other canned stuff in here. I was thinking you could help us box some of them up, we’re going to bring them around to some people on the streets before it gets too cold out.”

“Okay…”, And Lance timidly began his work. Picking up different soups from shelves and wheeling them over to the boxing area where he would help Pidge secure the packages together. Every once and a while he would forget himself in the mindless task. Forget that instead of walking he was placing his hands on rough wheels and pushing. Forget that he was broken in his own sense of the word. It was nice… It was numbing. He listened to the back and forth of the others in the room. Their banter providing a nice background hum. And for a small moment, Lance found himself smiling along with them all. Until he attempted to stand to grab a can from a high shelf and then the reality of his entrapment came crashing back down. He couldn’t stand, he couldn’t even fucking stand to get a can of soup. Pathetic, “U-uh… Dr. Kogane- Can you- Can you get the chicken soup down from this shelf for me?”, He asked ashamed.

“Sure thing.”, He reached up pulling the can down to Lance’s level, “And you can- you can call me Keith. Dr. Kogane is a bit too formal for here, y’know?”, He offered a small grin and when Lance’s delicate hand reached out for the can he noticed how calloused Keith’s were. So different from his own. 

“Thanks.”

 

 

 

The next time Lance saw Keith was at physical therapy, and he was determined to make it the least amount of awkward possible. Though the only thing he could seem to think of when he heard Keith’s name was the fact that the man knew Allura. He was close to the deceased. He lost someone just as Lance had, and it was all Lance’s fault. He knew that, would Keith hold it against him? Would he bring it up when they saw each other? Would he refuse to continue helping him because of his actions? If Lance were in Keith’s shoes, he likely would have turned him away the moment he read the name. He wouldn’t have helped in anyway. And he certainly wouldn’t have looked at himself so fondly as he did at the food pantry. But maybe Lance was just cruel.

“How are you feeling Lance?”, And that wasn’t fair. What gave him the right to be so caring and considerate. Now that he knows he should be throwing Lance out the room in a fit of rage, but instead he sits with a cool tone and kind eyes.

“I’m okay.”, He lied. And it wasn’t a lie because he was doing bad, it was a lie because Lance had no idea how to actually answer Keith’s question. Mentally, physically, emotionally- Lance had no clue how he was feeling. Maybe he was great (Doubtful), maybe he was terrible- he just didn’t know. 

“Any change in the numbness?”

“No.”

Keith closed his file and looked directly at Lance, “We’ve been with this current treatment for a couple of weeks now with no evident change in your health. So, I’d like to try a different method. Are you okay with swimming?”, At the word Lance’s eyes visibly widened and his smile grew dramatically brighter.

“Are you kidding?! I practically lived in the ocean as a kid! I love swimming, I-”, He paused for a moment, “Can I swim like this?”

“Well yes, and no.”, Keith clarified, “You likely won’t be able to do anything with your legs while you’re in the water. But you can float, and do anything with your arms. Swimming had been a good way for patients to get their legs to move before they’ve gained any feeling. The pressure of the water can also help to keep your legs a bit stronger, that way when we get you on your feet you don’t have to completely relearn how to hold up your own weight.”

“So swimming is going to be part of my treatment?”, He asked hopeful.

“Yes if you’re alright with that.”, Lance smiled wide and nodded his head quickly. And Keith felt his heart do a small flip at the utterly adorable sight. An emotion swirling that he quickly shoved to the deepest depths of his heart. Lance was his patient, he needed to be professional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


	4. Iris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris, meaning hope and cherished friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient, let me know what you think! (Also I am in no way a doctor, this story comes with my very LIMITED medical knowledge, so the science and medicine will not be accurate!)

For the first time, in a long time, Lance got up in time with his alarm. Most days he would hit snooze two or three times before finally stopping it and lying in bed for hours- helplessly still. No will to even make an attempt to leave the confines of his matress, no reason to try. But today, Lance was immediately pulling himself into his chair. His heart raced along with the wheels against his hard wooden flooring, and he practically tore his swimsuit while he struggled to put it on as quickly as possible. Swimming- he was going swimming. He felt a genuine smile at the thought of finally sinking back into the water after so long. 

“Lance, you have to get up today.”, His mother said knocking on the door. She’d likely been expecting the usual morning struggle, having to pull Lance out of bed, having to force him to brush his teeth- help him use the bathroom, and get dressed and-, “You’re up?”

“Uh, yeah- I uhm, I’m excited.”, Lance nodded. His voice quiet and small as he searched his mother's face for any emotion other than confusion. Her smile turned to pure warmth and her voice dripped like honey as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

“I’m so glad Miho.”, She pressed a kiss to his temple, “I’m so happy you’re excited.”, Pulling away she laughed slightly at his swim shorts, “You even got your pants on by yourself.”

“I’ve graduated from 2 year old to 6 year old.”, And that was new. A joke, a genuine joke. It felt really good. 

 

 

Immediately Keith realised that Lance was one of the strongest swimmers he’d ever seen. Even without being able to use his legs the momentum from his arms alone was enough to slice through the water and carry him wherever he pleased. He was beginning to regain that sense of freedom he’d lost in the accident, “What first?”, Lance asked after Keith let him have his fun with a couple laps.

“Uhm-”, It was still a bit of a shock whenever he saw Lance smile, this being only the fourth time (Not that he was counting). Lance really had a beautiful smile. Bright and shiny, pearly white teeth, and smooth lips. Professional Keith- _Professional_ , “Go ahead and float on your back, I’m going to massage your neck a bit to stimulate your spinal cord.”

“But we’ve done that, you said it wasn’t working-”

“Well I’m hoping your legs will begin to move with the water and we can trick your body into thinking that it’s the spinal cord doing it. Trick your brain into communicating with your lower half again.”, Lance nodded and moved into a float as Keith placed a hand on his back to gently guide his body towards the shallow end. Once there Keith began his routine massage. This type of therapy had worked with three of his previous patients. Granted none of them were in quite as bad a shape as Lance but even if he could have Lance feeling the slightest amount in his legs then that would be progress.

The rise and fall of Lance’s chest was peaceful and steady. He felt a little self conscious with the fact that he was wearing a swim shirt, but anything was better than letting other patients and doctors see the ugly raised tissue that was left in place of bloody gauges in his skin. His whole back looked as if someone had set off a bomb behind him- it was hard enough looking at it by himself. The whole world didn’t need to see that he was ugly- He quickly shut down that train of thought. Now was not the time to start getting depressed again. ‘ _Just focus on where you are._ ’, He thought to himself, ‘ _Focus on the massage_.”

Keith’s fingers were like magic, expertly smoothing out the knots he built up in his muscles. Obviously he was trained in this but Lance just liked to think the skill belonged to Keith alone. He was gentle in how he made Lance roll his neck, making sure his head never dipped below the water. They pressed in just the right places and Lance hummed contently. Focusing on the massage was a great idea. He relaxed into the touch. Keith’s hands were calloused, that much he had noticed at Voltron, but he wondered what else he did that would have them feeling so rough. Maybe it was all the heavy lifting he did at Voltron. Or maybe he worked out, that would certainly explain a lot. For instance why he seemed to have the body of some Adonis type. And it wasn’t like he was super bulky but boy was he defined. Keith may have been wearing a shirt as well but it did nothing to hide his abs with the way it clung to his stomach while wet. And oh man did Keith have nice abs- Okay maybe focusing on the massage was a terrible idea.

‘ _Focus on the water_ ’, the way it warmed his body and how for the first time in a long time he didn’t feel like a dead weight. He focused on how it lapped slightly against his shoulders, splashed slightly over his torso, and how he felt the tiniest tip when his right foot was pulled underwater for a moment-

Lance flailed up immediately trying to stand before being reminded of his inability to do so and swallowing a small bit of water. He switched to use his arms as he gasped for air, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t breath, “Lance are you okay!?”, Keith asked, his brows furrowed in worry.

“I felt it!”, His eyes widening at his own words. He began to finally process what had happened before a massive grin split onto his face and he pushed forward wrapping his arms around Keith in a hug, “I felt my foot! I felt it go underwater! I felt it for a second! Oh my god! I can’t believe I-”, He pulled back before realising how inappropriate it was to just jump onto his doctor like that, “Sorry- I didn’t mean to, I just… got excited.”

“That’s okay. I’m really glad we’re starting to get somewhere.”, Next Keith took Lance to the X-ray room, eager to find out what might have changed. And upon examination he found that some of the swelling had gone down around his L1 vertebrae. Lance probably had feeling in his foot all day but because of the low level and inability to actually move it he likely didn’t even notice until he was actively focusing on his surroundings.

“So what does this mean Dr. Kogane?”, Lance’s mother asked.

“It means that what we’ve been doing is working. Slowly- but it is working. If we keep it up I’m confident he’ll be able to walk again.”

 

 

“I’m actually really surprised you decided to come back.”, Hunk revealed as they wheeled down the halls of Voltron early in the morning.

“Well, if I’m being honest it wasn’t really something I wanted to do very much.”, They passed room after room heading to the back where Hunk had said the others were, “But… it wasn’t terrible. The people were nice. That Shiro guy really helped me out. And my therapist said it would be good for me to come here. Help me… move on from her and all that.”

“You know no one here blames you for what happened right?”, Hunk said. The photo of the Altea’s and Coran loomed over the front entrance and the last thing Lance needed was to have a panic attack every time he walked in. Especially not when he was finally starting to make some progress mentally. 

He sighed, in his heart yes- Lance knew no one blamed him for the events of that terrible day- but Lance himself felt responsible. He could have saved her, he should have stopped her, “I know.”

“Lance, nice to see we didn’t scare you off.”, Shiro smiled warmly as he looked up from his work.

“Its uh, gonna take more than that…”, He tried to joke. He was still relatively in a good mood. Yesterday he learned that he could kinda feel his right foot again, and he gets to keep swimming, but being here was still a little off putting to him. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Alfor since the accident and was terrified to run into him.

“Good.”, He smiled, “We just got a huge donation from one of the schools food drives so we’re going through and sorting everything out if you want to jump in.”, He looked around a bit nervous, eyes landing on Keith. He smiled softly as he put boxes of spaghetti in a bin next to him and Lance wheeled forward into the circle.

Something he learned about Voltron- at least these particular members, was that they were the nicest most welcoming people Lance had ever met. Not once did they look at him like he was in a wheelchair. And Shiro, every time Lance so much even had a breath hitch, he was there to calm him down, “Thanks, you’ve been really kind to me.”, Lance whispered when they were packaging soups to hand out by themselves.

“It’s nice to have an ally.”, He replied, “Not that the others aren’t, but I’ve been through what you’re going through.”, He flexed his prosthetic.

“How did you- if you don’t mind my asking…”

“Not at all. I was stationed in Afghanistan… We were raiding a terrorist hideout when a grenade went off next to me.”, It was clear this wasn’t a particularly easy subject for Shiro and Lance felt bad for going there.

“I’m sorry. Are you- how did you…”

“It took a while. I still suffer from PTSD, but with the help of everyone around me I was able to get better. My little brother, Keith, especially.”

“So- Keith is your brother?”

“Yeah. He gave up as a brain surgeon and became a physical therapist just to help me.”, That revelation shocked Lance, “That kid has always put everyone before himself.”, He shook his head with a small smile, “I guess this profession suits him. If anyone can get you on your feet again, trust me it’s my brother.”, Lance glanced over at Keith and saw him and Pidge messing around. To give up a whole career as a surgeon just to help his brother… How far did Keith’s kindness run?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think! I'm thinking this may have around 10-12~ chapters


	5. Yellow Acacia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Acacia- signifies the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone pointed out to me that it was pretty hard to find my tumblr and asked if I would start linking it so here we go- https://moe20112233.tumblr.com/
> 
> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think

He’d had bad days before. Everyone had bad days. Par for the course of life, sometimes things just weren’t great. And after the accident that sentiment continued to ring true for Lance. But he was getting better, his therapist had even commended his progress. He’d had crying fits, and panic attacks, but he was improving. That is until it broke. It broke and it shattered his psyche along with it.

The morning had been ordinary enough. Mrs. McClain got up at the crack of dawn to water the plants around the house. She showered, got dressed, made breakfast- even checked what the weather was going to be like for the day. Despite the morning sun shining the forecast predicted dark storms, how disappointing. It did look like there were black clouds shrouding together in the distance. She ate, put her plate away, did the morning crossword puzzle. Ordinary. Ordinary. Ordinary. But for some odd reason, due to some unknown cause- the picture frame of Allura and Lance at graduation had fallen off of the wall. Flopped forward right off its perch and onto the floor. The glass shattering and the photo tearing a bit at the edge between the glass’ sharp edge and the frame. 

And it sent Lance spiraling. At first, he was confused- what had woken him? Had his mother dropped a plate? Had a ball flown through the window? But when his eyes landed on the frame upside down on the floor, he panicked. He dragged himself into his chair as fast as he physically could and wheeled over to it. Lance struggled to grasp at the image- it was too far down and his chair didn’t provide that kind of mobility so in a desperate attempt to grab the picture he was sent tumbling down to the floor by all the forward motion he’d built up. His hand landed in the glass as he tried to break his fall and bits embedded in his skin while a larger piece cut a long line down the side of his hand- and it was red. 

All he saw was red- Crimson blood rushing down his arm and pooling on the floor. Staining that once wonderful photo an ugly brown, the ink running at the touch of liquid. It was all red with pain- with anger- with hurt and loss and all these other emotions Lance can’t even begin to comprehend as he sobs uncontrollably on the floor. He’s so sick of it- sick of his chair! And he sends it flying over with a push. Sick of thinking about Allura! So he rips the photo. Sick of not being able to feel anything in his legs! Anything- _Anything_! He just wants to feel something! Even pain- he would give anything to feel the pain in his hand anywhere below his waist. Pain- something- anything- just be better _damnnit! BE BETTER-_

“Mijo! Lance!”, His mother's voice cut through the haze and before he knew it has hands had stopped- why was there so much blood? What had he done? Why were his legs cut he hadn’t cut them- had he? He was shrouded in her embrace, warm and tight like a blanket- he was crying. So was she, “Mijo what did you do?”, she whispered through her tears. And Lance couldn’t answer. He could see the cuts on his legs, his hand, the glass on the floor, his chair on the ground. He had no idea what he had done. He dropped the picture in his hand, so quickly one may have thought it burned him- except the picture wasn’t in his hand anymore. But glass was. 

 

_**“I know you’ve said you didn’t want them but I think it’s time we put you on antidepressants Lance.”** _

 

“Your mom told me what happened.”, Keith sighed at Lance’s next appointment, “I know it’s not my place to say anything but Shiro got like that a couple times… so, know that it’s okay. It happens.”, He tried to comfort. Lance had been talking with Shiro a lot recently and because of that had managed to learn quite a bit about Keith. Including the fact that he was really shitty at trying to comfort people. But at least he was trying, “You’re mom said you were pretty shaken up, and I know I’m not your therapist- and you’d probably rather talk to my brother but I’m here if you need. And not just as your doctor but… as your friend, cause you know we see each other at Voltron and-”, Lance also learned from Shiro that Keith tended to ramble a bit when he got nervous. But it wasn’t the annoying kind of rambling he got from his siblings about their day. This was endearing. It was cute. 

“Thank you. It means a lot.”, Lance said softly to cut him off. Apparently if no one stopped him he could go on and on- a stark contrast to his seemingly stoic personality. 

“I was also contacted by your therapist, to talk about the anti-depressants in conjunction with the medication you’re already taking. I’ve okayed them, they’ve actually been known to help with spinal injuries before.”, Lance thought about what his therapist had told him. Allura wouldn’t have wanted him to suffer like this, she wouldn’t have done what she did so that he could let himself waste away to nothing. She shouldn’t have saved him. She shouldn’t have, “Hey I know that look, you gotta stay with me.”, Keith offered a hand on his shoulder, a comforting action that did something to bring Lance out of his drowning thoughts.

“I’m sorry.”, Lance whispered.

“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re going through a lot, you’re allowed to not be okay. Like I said, I know I’m not your therapist, but I think antidepressants would be good for you. I think they’ll help your body and your mind.”

“...Okay…”, He knew there was no use in fighting it. That no matter what he would get the prescription and his mother would watch him swallow however many pills each morning. And some part of him twinged in guilt, that he was so averse to something that was supposed to make him feel better. Another part of him, small but present, hummed with warmth at the thought of something finally made to cut through all the dark thoughts. 

“Good.”, Keith offered a small smile in return, “Terrible segway, but I’d like to visit the water again. It seemed to be good for you and I want to try and recreate that feeling you got in your foot.”

“I don’t- uhm… my cuts- everyone will see.”

“There are a couple more private pools in our facilities. Some people are shyer than others or have conditions it’s best to keep away from others s they’re mostly used for the those cases, but we can use one of those if that would make you feel more comfortable.”, So Lance agreed. He and Keith did the routine stretches a little modified though due to the fresh cuts. They may not have been that deep- but there were quite a few. And it broke Keith’s heart.

He furrowed his brows, and the urge to individually treat and bandage each cut washed over him. He hated to see any of his patients struggling or in pain, something he unfortunately had to deal with a lot- but with Lance it somehow felt different. Likely because he was more attached to the Cuban-American- _Because they were friends_. He liked the sound of being friends with Lance. Lance was kind, and on his better days he cracked wise and stupid jokes that had no business being as funny as they were. He was sweet like sugar and Keith had figured out that when he was having bad days he would ask someone about their day just to hear them ramble to distract himself. He had a single dimple on his right cheek when he smiled, tiny freckles that decorated his cheeks like constellations, and specs of navy in his ocean blue eyes that Keith liked to think gave way to icebergs of beauty when the light hit them in just the right way-

When Lance had feeling in his foot again his smile so wide and bright, like he’d momentarily forgot all the dark dismal thoughts he’d been having earlier- and Keith liked that. _Loved_ that he was the one who cut through Lance’s dark haze to bring a grin to that utterly adorable face. He wanted to continuously be the reason Lance smiled. He wanted to hold him close and never let him feel those sad things again, ‘ _This is a dangerous line of thought Kogane_ ’

 

 

“What’s wrong?”, Shiro asked as he and Keith sat at a restaurant waiting for their lunch.

“What?”, Keith frowned, “Why do you assume somethings wrong?”

“You’re biting your nails.”, Shiro pointed to where Keith’s thumb nail sat firmly scrunched between two rows of polished teeth. Keith merely scoffed and quickly pulled his finger away from his face, shoving his hands under his legs so he wouldn’t be tempted to bite again. Damn his brother who could read him like the open book he so hated to be, “You only bite your nails when something’s bothering you. So what is it?”

“Shiro, it’s not a big deal.”

“Doesn’t matter, something’s wrong. As your big brother it is my duty to listen to whatever dumb shit you may be going through at a given time.”, Keith glared at him, “Seriously Keith what’s up?”

“I’m-”, He closed his mouth immediately, trying to formulate the right way to say this, “I feel like I’m having a conflict of interest at work.”

“Why? Do you have a patient you don’t want to treat?”, Shiro asked concerned.

“No. The opposite actually. I have a patient who I want to help- maybe a little… too much?”

“How is that a bad thing? Doctors should want to help their patients. It’s alright if they get a little extra attention, you’re healing them-”

“But- this isn’t like- Ugh, It’s unethical Shiro.”

“Why?”

“I don’t- I can’t-”

“Well who is it?”

“Patient doctor confidentiality Shiro, I can’t tell you anything about him. I don’t know how to describe it I just like him a lot and it’s interfering with how I think while he’s in my office and it’s wrong- he’s my patient-”

“Ahh. I see, you have a crush.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think  
> https://moe20112233.tumblr.com/


	6. Pink Camellia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink Camellia- Longing for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Drop me a comment and let me know what you think  
> Also I've been asked to start linking my tumblr! So here it is: https://moe20112233.tumblr.com/

Ever since Shiro had blatantly said the word crush, Keith couldn’t seem to get it out of his head. A crush on Lance. It seemed like the plot of every bad drama- Keith needed one of those books, ‘how to keep things professional when you’ve got the hots for your patient’. There had to be some doctoral code Keith was breaking here, then again he hadn’t actually acted on any of his feelings he was just now painfully aware that they existed. Would this be how his promising career ended? Taken down by a pair of breathtaking blue eyes?

He banged his head down on his desk in hopes it would wake him from whatever sort of fever dream he was having, alas all it did was accentuate the stress headache he’s had all morning. A headache caused by a terrible horrible dream in which Lance had kissed him- and that was so wrong and so awful and he should not being feeling the way he’s feeling. He cannot- under any circumstances, pursue Lance.

Pursuing Lance- but how wonderful that would be. To see that smile everyday, to make his face flush red under a compliment, or to be the helping hand after a panic attack. God he was feeling so domestic, what the hell was wrong with him? He’d has plenty of attractive and kind-hearted patients, what made Lance so different? ‘ _They weren’t warm like the sun, they weren’t strong and persistent and lovely and-_ ’, these thoughts really weren’t helping. 

“Stupid- stupid- stupid-”, he banged his fist on the desk, the rattling making his head even worse but at this point he couldn’t bring himself to care. He repeated the mantra like a lifeline, Keith Kogane didn’t get lovesick- what the hell was this?

“Dr. Kogane?”, a nurse appeared in the doorway, a lovely girl named Romelle who was interning at Keith’s office while she worked her way through nursing school, “Are you alright?”, Keith paused his banging and sat up straight in his chair, as a doctor should. 

He ran his fingers through his slightly disheveled hair, “Yes. I’m okay.”

“Really? Cause you seem a little- _not_ okay.”, she laughed slightly but Keith just crumpled in on himself and let his head hit the desk once more. 

“What gave it away?”, his voice dripped sarcasm as he pondered the effects of jumping off the nearest bridge to save himself the emotional turmoil. 

“You mean aside from the brain damage you’re giving yourself?”

“I just need aspirin. Lots of aspirin.”

 

 

Tuesday morning Keith loaded Kosmo up in the car as he did every Tuesday, guiding him into the trunk with a treat because the entitled monster wouldn’t do anything without incentive, so they could head to Voltron. Keith had learned himself as a kid on the streets that a fluffy animal could do wonders for the psyche and Kosmo, while greedy as they come, is the best dog for comforting people off the streets, “Ready to go?”, Keith asked as Shiro popped into the drivers seat.

“Yeah, we have to make a pit stop first.”

“What?”, Keith laughed, “Forget to fill up on gas for the trillionth time?”

“Believe it or not- this time no.”, Shiro chuckled, “Hunk had to go in early to help Alfor and Coran out with some paperwork so he asked if we could pick up Lance.”, And _oh_. Really, of course. Lance. What else. 

“Okay.”, Keith said and turned forward. This was going to be a long day, why couldn’t he escape Lance? 

They had arrived at Lance’s apartment and were eagerly welcomed in by his mother. Rosa McClain was a wonderful woman, Keith had learned. She hugged Keith and smiled at him as if they had been lifelong friends, “I’ve had no luck getting him out of bed, maybe you two can give it a try.”, She pointed down the hall to a closed door where presumably Lance was sleeping, “And you must be Shiro, Lance has told me so much about you-”, She gushed, and Keith will admit a tiny undesirable unwarranted part of him was jealous to know that Lance was gushing to his mother about Shiro.

Shiro then struck up some random conversation with her about flowers, which was so Shiro to immediately take to someone. But this conversation left Keith as the one who had to ge wake Lance or they were going to be late and Keith may have been stoic and broody but he didn’t like to see disappointed children when the dog was late. So he padded his way through the apartment and carefully through Lance’s bedroom door. And this was just _really not fair_. Lance calmly nestled between his blankets, mouth slightly open as he exhaled peacefully. Adorable.  
“Lance… Lance wake up.”, Lance groaned when Keith slightly tapped him on a bare shoulder, “Time to go to Voltron.”

“Hunk~”, His eyes remained scrunched shut as he flung an arm over to Keith’s face. He pawed and scrunched til he was squeezing Keith’s lips shut, “Five more minute’s Hunk.”, And that really shouldn’t have been as endearing as it was, “You’re too loud.”

“Lamph.”, Keith laughed slightly, removing Lance’s hand from his face, “It’s Keith, not Hunk.”

“Oh.”, Lance pulled the blanket over his head in his groggy state, “Morning Keith… Five more minutes…”, Keith chuckled as he watched Lance groan in his sleepy state, “Keith… Keith!?”, Lance shot up halfway before the lack of mobility in his lower half caused him to fall back onto his pillows.

“Hey easy, easy- sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“N-no… It’s okay, I was just expecting Hunk was all.”

“Yeah, I kinda got that.”, He laughed.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, but uhm we should be going. Don’t wanna be late.”

“Right.”, Lance just kinda sat there for a moment when Keith didn’t leave, “Uhm, could you- y’know-”

“Right! Right, right, sorry”, Face flushed red Keith quickly exited the bedroom coming face to face with a rather smug looking Shiro, “What?”, Keith huffed in annoyance as he tried to move past him back towards the living room. Shiro moved with him to stay directly in front of him however, “What?!”

“Doctor Patient confidentiality my ass- you just didn’t tell me cause the one you’ve got a crush on is Lanc-!”, He grinned while Keith covered his mouth. 

“Not so loud!”, Keith’s eyes darted back to the door thankful to hear Lance had started playing Beyonce and that would have likely drowned out anything Shiro had said, “God it’s like you’re trying to let the whole of New York know.” 

“Sme Ifs mrue-”

“I can’t understand anything you’re saying.”, Shiro pointed to the hand currently clamped to his face as response, “Right.”, and it was released. 

“As I was saying, so it’s true!”

“...Yes, if you _must_ know.”

“That’s so domestic- I’m so proud.”

“I hate you.”

 

 

“And who is this wonderful boy?”, Lance asked as Keith lifted him into the car. Lance was pretty used to getting lifted by Keith, as it happened all the time at his office but each time Lance was reminded of just how much he loved getting manhandled. It was unfair how easily Keith seemed to find moving Lance around, he wasn’t fat but he wasn’t that skinny either. And being in the chair hasn’t helped he must have put on at least 10 pounds by now. 

“This is Kosmo, he comes down to Voltron every Tuesday to play with the kids.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me Tuesdays were doggy days. I would have started coming years ago!”, Kosmo was really soft, and as Lance carded his fingers through the fur he found himself relaxing. Kosmo had this big smile on his face that calmed Lance’s nerves, “He’s so cute.”

“Yeah until he slobbers all over you. Isn’t that right you little heathen?”, Keith reached over to scratch behind his ear and for a second Lance swore he saw literal God standing before him. The way Kosmo smiled that cute little puppy grin and wagged his tail at Keith’s attention sent arrows right through Lance’s heart. Something about Keith’s rough exterior melting away as he made soft eyes at his dog, it was breathtaking

God, who knew Keith could be so cute?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Drop me a comment and let me know what you think  
> Also I've been asked to start linking my tumblr! So here it is: https://moe20112233.tumblr.com/


	7. Tamarisk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamarisk, meaning crime or guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! I'm so sorry for the long wait on this chapter, my computer had broken and I've had my new one for a couple weeks now but I'm actually moving TODAY, so this was pretty challenging to get out. But I've finished my packing everything is loaded up and I had a couple hours to kill before I leave so I finally finished this chapter. Hopefully the next one will get out sooner but I'm also working on a piece for the Across the Stars Galtean Klance Zine, so that's been taking up a lot of my time as well. And I had participated in the hey there sharpshooter Lance bang which my piece called Waves had been published for. Anyway, without further delay the chapter! 
> 
> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, nothing is super detailed here in terms of breakdowns in this chapter but I've gone ahead and added some trigger warnings to the tags of this story because previous chapters have been triggering and I suspect future chapters will be too.

“Your swelling has gone down significantly.”, Keith smiled showing Lance his latest X-rays. Over the last couple weeks Lance had gained consistent feeling in his feet, some fleeting feeling in his legs occasionally. Since having returned to his antidepressants he could admit he was feeling better mentally and in turn that made him feel better physically, “We may want to try walking soon, assisted of course.”

“D-do you, do you really think I can do it?”, He asked nervously, it’s been months since he’s even _tried_ to stand, assisted or not. 

“Well, it’ll take more time. But you’ve come a long way.”, Lance felt his heart stutter at the softness in Keith’s voice, “We just need to continue your treatment and I’m confident you’ll be walking again soon.”, The prospect of walking had Lance buzzing in his seat. It was so close at this point he could taste it. 

“Thank you Keith- I know that you’re being paid, but thank you so much.”, Lance’s voice wobbled and wavered, tears of happiness threatening to spill from his eyes. “You- You’ve saved my life Keith.”, The confession was so raw and open, a testament to how safe Lance felt around Keith. After all he’d seen Lance in ways very few other people had. And maybe it was all because Keith had helped him, some might say what he was feeling was just induced by a feeling of indebtment, but Lance liked Keith. A lot. Sometimes it scared him, he shouldn’t be thinking about his doctor that way- He shouldn’t think about _anyone_ this way, but he couldn’t help it.

“You don’t need to thank me Lance. And not just cause you’re paying me.”, He laughed, “I care about you- I!”, He started coughing slightly, shocked at his own blatant revelation, “I- mean cause we’re friends, and friends care about each other.”

“Yeah.”, A tear escaped Lance’s eye, “Sorry, sorry I just… hearing that I’ll be able to try walking soon-”

“Don’t worry about it, everyone reacts differently to the news and a lot of people cry, it’s natural.”, Instinctively Keith reached out a hand and brushed away Lance’s tear.

He pulled away quickly, “Sorry- sorry that was unprofessional…”

“No, uhm, it’s okay… It’s like you said we’re friends.”

 

 

“Hunk I have a big problem-”, Lance furrowed his brows as he wheeled around the room anxiously. It was the closest thing he had to pacing around while he was in the chair, “Like huge- major- Big!”

“ Slow down body, what’s up.”, Hunk started.

“I think I have a crush on Keith.”

“Keith?”, He asked, “As in Keith Keith? Like your doctor Keith?”

“Yeah- but he- we’re friends he’s not _just_ my doctor.”

“That’s great! Keith is amazing and I think he likes y-”

“No Hunk!”, Lance shouted, “This is a problem! I- I can’t like him!”

“Well why not? Keith is a good guy-”

“That’s not the problem!”

“Then I don’t get it.”

Lance stopped his wheeling and buried his hands in his face with a loud groan, “I _can’t_! I can’t like anyone I- I-”

“Lance calm down. Keith is a good guy I don’t understand what the problem is? Is it because he’s your doctor? Cause if you really want to try with him then you can just get a new one, I don’t think he would be offended or anything like that-”

“No, It’s… It’s Allura.”, He said quietly, “It’s… she… I can’t like him Hunk. It’s not fair to her.”

Hunk furrowed his brows and knelt beside Lance’s chair, “Lance, she would want you to be happy. She would want you to move on.”

“But she… Hunk we were together and we- I killed her. I don’t deserve to be happy.”, There was so much there to unpack. Hunk didn’t even know where to begin, he wasn’t trained for something like this, he wasn’t a therapist. But his best friend was in pain, “I can’t just forget her.”

“No one’s asking you to forget her…”, He whispered. His hand gently moved to Lance’s, massaging slow circles into his knuckles, “Have you talked to your therapist about this?”, He shook his head ‘no’, “I think that’d be a good idea. I- I want to help you Lance. I want to see you happy. You know you didn’t kill her. Right?”, Lance remained silent, refusing to meet Hunk’s eyes, “Lance please, you didn’t kill her.”

“But… But I was driving.”, His voice trembled and shook under the weight of his own words. Struggling to leave his mouth like they would collapse on his tongue. The confession one everyone was aware of but one that had never actually been spoken aloud except for the police report, “I was driving and- and it was gonna it me- the truck was gonna hit _me_ ,” His voice diluted into more incoherent sobs, “But she- she saw it and grabbed the wheel- she- she- I killed her!”

 

 

Voltron was quiet that day. Hunk had taken Lance to see his therapist because of his outburst. He needed help, more help than Hunk could provide. And as a result there was less idle chatting, Less loud jokes, and less complaining about not being able to reach the top shelf. Keith will admit he was saddened by the severe lack of Lance. No bright eyes, no bright smile… Lance had been doing so well at his office the other day. He wondered what might have happened to send him spiraling again. 

After Shiro had lost his arm, the PTSD was bad. He knew better than anyone that it only took something small. The sound of guns from the TV, the kids shouting too loudly outside, one time an orange rolled off the kitchen table and it sounded just like the grenade landing at Shiro’s feet. Keith had received a long list from Lance’s family about what Lance different things Lance was suffering from. PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Survivors guilt. It killed him that he couldn’t seem to help Lance the way he desperately needed. Sure being unable to walk was bad, it was awful even. But a physical injury could be healed in a way a mental one couldn’t. You can’t bandage a brain, you can’t mend a broken heart.

“Why the long face my boy?”, Coran asked ripping Keith from his thoughts. Keith paused in his paperwork and looked up at him, “You’re worried about him.”, His expression softened as he sat down next to Keith, “He’s a strong boy. He’s gonna be okay, he just needs more time.”

“I know but I-”

“But you’re still worried. That's cause you have a big heart. I’ve known Lance for quite a long time. He and Allura were best friends as children and when they started dating they only got closer. He was always such an active kid, running around and chasing everything and everyone. He swam nearly everyday. This has been the single hardest part of his life, but he’s tough. He came around to Voltron, he’s back on his medicine, and his bouts are getting farther apart in time. Even if in moments like this he has a small relapse he is getting better overall. We all just have to show him we’re here. Doesn’t matter if he’s cracking one of his puns, or if he’s sobbing on the floor. He’s getting better, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. And you know you’re helping him a lot. And not just with his legs. Whenever he’s with you he’s always got a smile on his face. And Hunk says he talks about you a lot. You’ve been very good for him Keith.”

“Thanks Coran.”

“No problem. Now, let’s finish up that paperwork so we can go help out in the kitchen!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


	8. Daffodil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daffodils- meaning uncertainty
> 
> Sorry for the long wait! I'm finally fully moved in to my new place, and then we had a scare with Hurricane Dorian (Which missed Florida thank god!) so things have been kinda crazy, but I'm here with the new chapter and I really hope you like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think! I love reading them!

After a grueling six months Lance had finally made it to February 17th, the morning when he would try to walk again. His entire body hummed and shook with anticipation as his mother drove him to the city. He’d been talking about this day for weeks now, unbelievably excited. When Keith had first brought up the notion of walking Lance was excited, but that was just a notion. Just an idea, completely unfounded and underdeveloped. But this was real, this was tangible, and Lance was bursting at the seams. A whirlwind of emotions swept through Lance’s mind like a tornado whisking Dorothy away to Oz.

“Hermano, this will be great, I’m so proud of you, you’ve come so far. Are you excited?”, His sister made idle chat on their way to Keith’s office. 

“Y-yeah.”, And he was, but there was more to it. There was some other kind of emotion he was feeling that he didn’t know how to even begin to describe. It would have been stupid to say he was scared. This was all he’d wanted since the accident, a sense of normality that came with being able to just stand up. She would probably call him crazy if he told her he was scared.

He got to Keith’s office, waited anxiously to be called in, and even then he felt clammy. His hands sweaty as he wheeled around to Keith’s specific patient room. And Keith walked in, with a big smile, looking as ethereal as ever. Unfair. He was so happy to hook Lance into a walking assistant, and his entire voice beamed when he explained how it would work and how Lance would finally be able to take a step again. Lance tried his best to mirror that smile. To shine just as bright, but either he wasn’t doing a very good job, or Keith can just read him that well.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Keith said softly, “A lot of people are. You’ve been in the chair for so long, and finally trying to walk is nerve wracking.”

“What if I fall?”, Lance asked, brows furrowed, “What if I don’t remember how? Or- or the exercises weren’t enough and I can’t hold my own body weight up?”

“It’s gonna be pretty hard, not gonna lie. You’re probably not going to get it the first time, but I won’t let you fall. And, it’s like riding a bike. It just takes some time to get back into it.”, Keith lightly stroked his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, “I’m not gonna let you fall, I promise. But if you don’t try it’ll never happen.”

Lance nodded slowly, “Okay…,” He agreed softly, “Okay.”, Keith took his hands and lifted him out of his chair, two bars were on his side, and the assistance machine helped keep his legs up. 

“We’re going to take it slow, one step at a time,” Lance gripped the bars at either side like a lifeline. This was the first time he’d had real weight on his legs since the accident and he felt like he was going to collapse at any second. All of his weight being held up by his arms, “Relax.”, Lance tried his best and took a steadying breath, “I’m going to turn on the machine and it’s going to help you take a step. We’re just gonna try and go five feet.”, Lance nodded and Keith clicked on the machine. It moved forward and pushed Lance’s leg slightly. He pushed his leg up as well until it touched the ground in front of him. Keith slowly moved beside him, his hand extended behind Lance should he trip or lose his grip. The first step completed and Lance was just about ready to breakdown and cry.

He was so overcome with emotion. He was walking- it was by no means anything like he was used to under any circumstances- but he was _walking_. His eyes stung as the machine pushed him through the motions of another step. His bottom lip quivered and his chest stuttered as he tried to suck in another breath. At first he thought maybe he was going to break down in another depressive episode. After all the last couple of months, when he felt these same symptoms that's what seemed to follow suit, but the sob that ripped it’s way out of his throat turned out to be that of happiness. 

“Lance?”, Keith’s voice was distant as uncontrollably Lance felt tears slide down his face. A torrential downpour coming from his eyes, “Lance? Are you okay?”, He vaguely registered nodding as his mind repeated a mantra of _’You’re doing it, you’re doing it. You’re walking.’_

Keith quickly moved in front of Lance ready to grab him should he collapse. “Lance, please stop crying- It’s okay if it’s too much we can stop, you were doing great but-”, Lance wrapped his arms around Keith throwing all his weight onto him and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you- thank you, thank you.”, He sobbed into his neck, “Thank you- so much.”, Keith smiled softly and returned the hug.

“You’re welcome.”, He whispered, “You’re welcome.”

 

 

Keith was beyond confused. And that was putting his situation lightly. He sat in his office, downing his third dosage of ibuprofen for the day- Romelle would kill him if she saw he’d already taken six tablets- but his head hurt. And it hurt because of perfect blue eyed 24 year old in a chair that had somehow made himself the focal point of all of Keith’s thoughts. His cheek tingled where he could still feel the warm press of Lance’s lips. It had to be illegal to have lips that soft. Lance must have used chapstick. He couldn’t help but wonder what flavor. Probably vanilla… or strawberries. What Keith wouldn’t give to know the answer. 

He shook his head. As of this moment, Lance was still his patient so any line of thought that included how his lips tasted was out of the question. Unacceptable. Inappropriate. But there lies the true nature of his problem. To pursue or not pursue, that is the question. If he chose to, he would have to step aside as Lance’s primary physician. That wasn’t up for any discussion- it would be wrong, and like taking advantage of Lance if he were to try and start something while Lance still depended on him to see through the rest of his recovery. He really wanted to try with Lance. There was so much on the pro’s side of pursuing Lance. 

He glanced at his phone, which had Rosa McClain’s number punched in. He’d gone back and forth on making that call all day. It would certainly be awkward. Tell a mother he couldn’t continue to treat her son because he wanted to take him on a date instead. Not the typical call you think to receive from your doctor. On the other hand though, despite there being so many pros, there’s also one glaring major con. And that was that if Lance didn’t feel the same way then he’d have ruined everything. He’d rather have Lance as a friend than not at all. And he didn’t want to drive him away from Voltron if he turned out to be the avoidance type. Voltron was a good place for Lance, he was getting out more and it was helping his overall mental health. The last thing Keith wanted was to be the cause for another downward spiral. 

He glared at the bottle of ibuprofen again. Shaking his head despite his ever growing headache, “He is going to be the death of me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think! I love reading them!


	9. Lilac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilac, the promise of love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the continuous wait on chapters with this one, but it's really hectic by me all the time so I try my best between two stories and school and work. Let me know what you think in the comments!

It was now February 25th, and though in his daily life Lance was still sat in a chair, when he was at Keith’s office he was connected to a walker, taking small but meaningful steps. He’d done a lot of talking with his therapist over the last couple of weeks. Mostly about Keith. His therapist agreed that it would be good for Lance to move on and try to start dating again, however he was wary of Keith being the object of Lance’s affections.

He warned Lance that he may be suffering from something similar to the florence nightingale effect. Where he thinks he likes Keith simply because he’s given him back his ability to walk, and his brain is mistaking immense gratitude for other feelings. He was told this was a slippery slope and he needed to be careful, and that he should wait until he and Keith no longer had that kind of relationship to see if the feelings persisted. And he understood what he was being told, it made perfect sense. But it still made his heart feel heavy. He was finally starting to believe he was allowed to move on, and the one person he wanted to move on with was the one person he had to wait to pursue. 

He looked up at Allura’s photo hung in the halls of Voltron, “What would you say if you saw me now?”

“She would be proud of how far you’ve come.”, A low and soothing voice broke his thoughts and he jumped in his chair, “She would be happy you’ve continued on for her.”

“Alfor I…”, Lance said softly, his gaze casting downwards, “I think she’d tell me I was pretty pathetic.”

“Does that sound like something my daughter would say? To anyone?”

“No…”

“So, why do you think she would say it to you?”

Lance sighed, “Cause I’m projecting. My therapist says I do that a lot.”, Alfor clasped his hand on Lance’s shoulder and squeezed, “I’ve just... got a lot to think about.”

“I can be a good sounding board, c’mon let’s head to my office and talk. You used to tell me I gave great advice.”, He laughed. Lance nodded and Alfor wheeled him into his office, “What’s wrong son?”

“... I’m starting to, I think it’s time to move on.”, He said quietly, “But, the person I- the guy I’m thinking of… He’s kind of unattainable.”

“You said the same thing about Allura, unattainable. Nothing stopped you then, so what’s stopping you now? Is he straight?”

“Maybe? I’m, Well I don’t actually know his sexuality. He’s just, we have a professional relationship so it wouldn’t really be appropriate for me to- and my therapist said that I might just _think_ I have feelings for him, and it’s just really confusing. I haven’t felt like this in- I don’t know how long and I don’t know what to do… There’s… there’s still a part of me that thinks I shouldn’t even try with anyone.”

“You should try. Allura wanted nothing more than for you to be happy, even if that meant you would be happy with someone else. Can I ask who it is? Do I know them?”, Lance looked at Alfor nervously, biting the inside of his cheek. The man was like a second father to Lance, he couldn’t lie to him. But what would he think, “Lance I’m not here to judge you.”

“I know, I just… It’s Keith. I, I like Keith.”

Immediately, a wave of understanding hit Alfor’s face, “I see… That is a tricky situation. But Keith seems to be fond of you.”, Lance’s heart fluttered at the comment. The thought that maybe Keith felt the same way, it was exhilarating. 

“Well… Even if he is, he’s my doctor I can’t, we can’t…”

“I’m sorry Lance, the situation doesn’t seem to have an easy answer. But I assure you, whatever decision you make you’ll have my full support, and Allura’s. I’m here for you, always.”, He stepped over and hugged Lance tightly. And Lance smiled. He smiled brightly.

 

 

“What do you think about switching to the walker full time?”, Keith asked as Lance walked small circles around the room, “I think you’ve really improved, and we want to keep building strength in your legs, and you’re not gonna get where you need to be if you’re only walking for around an hour a day.”

“Really?”, Lance smiled softly at the thought of being able to leave his chair at home for once, finally seeing the streets from 6 feet up again. And sure he’d be slow as hell, but he’d be _walking_.

“I think you’re ready for it. If it goes well, then we should be able to move to a cane in a couple weeks.”, Keith melted at Lance’s smile. It was gentle and bright, smooth pink lips pulling back to reveal pearly white teeth, piercing blue eyes opened wide, soft apple cheeks dusted with an excitable pink, “Beautiful…”, He whispered.

“What?”

“Oh uh-! Uhm, pretty cool! I said pretty cool right? That you’ll get to walk around a lot more- and that you’re getting better!”, He laughed awkwardly, real nice save Keith. Your gay panic is showing. He turned around quickly before he betrayed himself even further and started to type into Lance’s file that starting today he would be switching to his walker full time. He couldn’t keep doing this. This wasn’t the first slip up he’d had. He’d called Lance beautiful, amazing, incredible- and that was just at the office. That didn’t even count all the things he’d said at Voltron. 

It was hard not to. How could Keith not tell Lance he was cute when he sat across from Cosmo on Tuesdays squishing the husky’s face with a giggle? Or how could he not tell Lance he was amazing when he sang to the hungry children to help them fall asleep at night? How could he not tell Lance he was hilarious when he told really stupid puns that still had Keith smiling? As he saw Lance out that day it was clear to him what he needed to do. He needed to step down as Lance’s physician. Cause Keith was falling, and he wanted to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


	10. Red Carnation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Carnation- My heart aches for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little on the shorter side but thats okay cause shits about to happen next chapter, drop me a comment and let me know what you think!

“Who's a good boy? Who’s my beautiful baby boy?”, Lance cooed and he scratched behind Kosmo’s ears, “You are, yes you are!”, The husky’s tongue lolled out of his mouth and to the side as he nuzzled into Lance’s chest. Lance looked ethereal, Keith thought. Bright and radiant as ever, his smile shining right into Keith’s soul. He loved seeing Lance play with Kosmo at Voltron. He could see Lance on the floor in his living room, sitting cross legged just as he was now, and playing with Kosmo by the fireplace, “You wanna play?”, He asked as Kosmo pawed and jumped around, “Rah!”, He attacked Kosmo with scratches and kisses.

“He really likes you.”, Keith smiled.

“Well I should hope so.”, Lance smiled, “Precious boy.”, He kissed the top of Kosmo’s head, “Can you help me up?”, Keith nodded and grabbed Lance’s extended hands, helping him to his feet and over to his walker, “Thanks.”

“Alright Kosmo, you ready to go home?”, The husky let out a mewling whine, “I know, I’m sorry but we’ve gotta go.”, Kosmo patted over to Lance, nuzzling against his legs and sitting on top of his feet.

“I don’t think he wants to leave me.”

“Looks like it, Fine if he wants to stay I guess he just won’t get a treat later.”, The word treat had the dog bouncing up and back towards Keith, sitting in front of him and looking up expecting the food he was promised. Lance laughed at the behavior, and it was music to Keith’s ear. Light and bubbly. _Amazing just like Lance._

“W-hat?”, Lance stuttered out, and Keith swore his entire face must have turned red. He must have said that out loud. And there was no covering it up, Lance had heard what he said plain as day.

“I’m sorry that was weird, I shouldn’t have said that-”

“Do you really think I’m amazing?”, And Keith should have lied. Should have made up some excuse but he couldn’t lie when Lance was looking at him like that. Not when beautiful crystal blue eyes were looking at him expectantly, not when that light pink dusted Lance’s cheeks making him look like a goddamn disney prince, not when Lance’s lips slightly parted and Keith could _hear_ his breath hitch.

“W-well, Yeah… I do.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Well, I, I uhm should get going… My mom is probably waiting outside for me…”

“Right, yeah…”, Lance waved and turned to make his way out. Keith bit his lip, what if this was his chance? What if this was the right moment to tell Lance he had it really bad, “Lance wait-!”, Keith stopped him before he could even comprehend that words were coming out of his mouth. Lance paused and looked back at him, something glimmering in the perfect eyes, something like hope. 

“Yeah? What is it Keith?”, But all that will from a moment ago seemed to have snapped in his mind. Suddenly uncertainty tainted his imagination turning it a dark black color and making him shrivel under Lance’s pure gaze. He was still Lance’s doctor- this was _wrong_.

“Uhm, I’m glad you’ve improved so much.”, He grit, the real confession dying in his throat. The hope in Lance’s eyes disappeared but the smile remained plastered to his face.

“It’s thanks to you. I wouldn’t be here without you.”, And Lance turned once more, actually leaving this time as Keith was left to wallow in his own patheticism. Kosmo nuzzled against Keith’s leg and whined, pawing his hand towards the door.

“I know buddy. I know.”

 

 

“I did it.”, Keith said as he flopped onto Shiro’s couch, “I fucking did it.”

“What did you do?”, Shiro asked, confused as to what his brother was talking about. He looked at Keith’s expression, “Do I need to get wine?”

“No- It’s not… I, I stepped down as Lance’s physician. I made the call like twenty minutes ago.”

“Oh, what did he say?”

“I don’t know, I got his voicemail so I left a message- I… I wanna ask him out. So I just told him to call me back when he got a chance.”

“This is good, I’m happy for you Keith-”

“He’s gotta say yes first.”

“Oh please of course he’ll say yes.”

“I hope. I, I really like him Shiro. Like _really_ like him.”

“Trust me we know, you haven’t done a great job of hiding it. I’d be surprised if anyone in New York didn’t know about you’re hard core crush on Lance.”

“Oh god am I really that obvious?”

“Yes.”, Keith groaned and buried his burning face in his hands, “Keith c’mon, it’s fine. Look just think, in probably less than twenty four hours Lance will call you back and you’ll be able to ask him out on a date, then he’ll say yes and then you’ll live happily ever after just like Adam and I.”

“I think you’re getting ahead of everything Shiro.”, He glared.

“I’m just optimistic.”, Keith rolled his eyes when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Oh god it’s Lance- what do I do?”

“Answer it!”

“I can’t just- I’m not ready yet and- Oh god I can’t ask him out over the phone- Lance said he likes a gentleman- a gentleman wouldn’t ask him out over the phone!”, Keith screamed.

“A gentleman also wouldn’t let him go to voicemail.”, Keith started to freak out, he needed to answer- he took a deep breath and prepared himself.

“Hello?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


	11. White Violet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> White Violet meaning let's take a chance on happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience with me as I get through these last chapters. I'm happy to admit I've got another oneshot type thing in the works. Drop me a comment and let me know what you think

Unbelievably, Keith managed to get Lance to agree to meet him at a coffee shop. This wasn’t a date not yet. But he’d somehow dodged all of Lance’s questions over the phone under the guise of this being something they needed to talk about in person. Which it was. Lance had specifically told him on multiple occasions that he liked a gentleman- and the gentlemanly thing to do was to at least ask him out face to face in person. Regardless of how much the thought made his heart pound out of his chest. His heel bounced up and down as he waited at the table. Each passing minute making him go crazier and crazier. It was his own fault, he was the one who had shown up half an hour early simply because he couldn’t sit at home and stare at his clock a moment longer.

So instead he chose to stare at the clock of the coffee house, his toes wigging out of nervousness in his shoes and his pits feeling way more sweaty than they should be. He was so glad he’d worn a jacket, otherwise Lance would be able to see the stains peeking through his shirt. He glanced at his phone once more, the only thing showing being a good luck text from Shiro. The bell on the door chimed and Keith’s heart caught in his throat as Lance tentatively shuffled inside heavily leaning on his walker. And he looked amazing, as always.

Hair slightly curled at the edges, it got like that after they went swimming, so he must have taken a shower that morning. Large circular glasses framed his face. Lance had once divulged that he wore his glasses when he was too tired to put effort into how he looked. And Keith remembered thinking that was ridiculous cause Lance looked utterly adorable with them on. He was wearing that baby blue oversized sweater he wore way too often for it to not be his favorite, and it made his tan skin and blue eyes pop. Keith was so whipped. 

Keith waved and Lance and gave him a small smile to catch his attention. The minute those eyes were on him Keith knew he was doomed. They were hazy, rubbed red, and his eyebrows were knit together in some form of exhaustion. He was upset. Keith’s heart broke as he slowly made his way to Keith, the smile never returned up until he sat and in a voice smaller than Keith had ever heard before spoke, “Did I do something wrong?”, Lance’s bottom lip quivered and he caught it between his teeth, as if to keep from sobbing. 

“No- of course not.”, Keith returned softly, he didn’t want to startle Lance. It was his fault Lance thought he did something wrong. He got an uncalled for phone call from his doctor/friend that said he couldn’t be his doctor anymore and then when he called back for answers all Keith did was dodge the questions and insist they meet in person. Probably not the best way to handle things, especially considering Lance was still on the road to a _full_ mental recovery. Nice going Keith, real great way to do this, “No Lance, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“So… so why do you have to step down as my physician?”

“W-well, I… uhm”, Keith licked his lips nervously, “I think you’re an amazing person Lance. And we have a relationship of more than just doctor patient, we’re friends. And- and through the friendship I’ve only started to like you more… And it wouldn’t be- it wouldn’t be right of me to stay on as your doctor with the feelings that I have for you. I wouldn’t want you to feel like I was pressuring you into anything, or make you feel uncomfortable around me. It’s unethical for a doctor to feel something more for a patient. But- I _really_ like you, too much to not at least try…”, Keith slid a cup of coffee he purchased over to Lance, “So, if you’d like to, then I would like for the rest of this afternoon to be a date.”

“Oh.”, Lance said looking at the coffee then back to Keith, then back to the coffee, “ _Oh_. Uhm, wow… uh- really?”, Keith nodded softly, and he swore Lance was able to hear his heart pounding in his chest, “B-but I didn’t- I look all sad and gross right now, I didn’t do any of my face masks last night- and I’m wearing my glasses-”

“I think you look really good… You always do.”, Keith smiled, his chest filling with a bit of pride as Lance’s beautiful caramel skin flushed a deep red and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

“Thank you… You look good too. Uhm, so, you wanna go on a date with me?”

“If you’d like to, I would love it.”, Keith’s heart twisted and knotted in his throat as Lance’s face dissolved into a soft smile. The smile lit up the whole cafe, it made the sun outside the window seem like nothing but the shattered bulb of a street lamp. 

“I’d like that very much.”

 

 

“I’m the luckiest fucking guy in the entire world. I don’t know what the fuck I did, or whose dick I sucked in a past life but oh my fucking god Shiro you have no idea the amazing god damn day that I’ve had.”, Keith shouted upon entering his brothers apartment.

“I take it things with Lance went well?”, Shiro snickered seeing his brothers enthusiasm. 

“Well is the understatement of the fucking century. You and Adam are put to shame by Lance and I.”, He flopped onto the couch and went into a tirade about his day. His usually quite mouth unable to contain the utter joy he felt, “He was so fucking cute today, he wore his glasses- and they should be illegal cause they ust made his eyes look so big and blue and- _wow_. I swear it was like we just clicked in everyway, and probably because we’ve been friends for a couple months now so we could just skip that really awkward first date bit and I got to hold his hand across the table and he fucking kissed my cheek on his way out and I literally don’t think I’ll ever wash this cheek again.”

“Jesus Keith slow down. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this whipped for someone ever. You’re like a love sick puppy.”

“I can’t help it. He’s just so amazing… I’ve never felt like this with anyone. We have another date set for Friday night. Like a real one this time a proper one. Talking with him was so easy Shiro, the conversation just flowed and none of it was that boring ‘I’m on a date so I guess I’ll suffer through’ shit.”

“I’m really happy for you man. I’m glad it all worked out.”

 

 

“Hunk I really like him. It was, really good.”

“That’s amazing buddy. So why the frown?”

“I… It went really well. So well that we have a second date. But, I dunno. I can’t stop thinking about Allura. Like, what if I’m betraying her. Or- if it’s so right with Keith, if Allura hadn’t- if she was still… would I have left her for him or something or worse cheated, and what if it’s like I’m cheating on her now cause we technically never broke up and I-”

“Hey.”, Hunk placed a hand on Lance’s, “Calm down Lance, you’re spiraling. Allura wants you to be happy. You and I both know that. You’re not cheating on her, because”, Hunk took a deep breath, “Look Allura’s gone. And, yeah, it's tragic and awful but it’s been like a year now. I’m getting really worried that you’re not moving on. She’ll always be in out hearts, but if we keep dwelling on things that happened then you could drive yourself mad with a thousand what ifs. You had a good time with Keith. That happened, it’s concrete. It’s real and now, focus on that.”

Lance smiled up at Hunk, “You’re right. Thanks man. You always know what to say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


	12. Red Tulip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Tulips- Unconditional love

Lance frowned at the grass beneath his feet. The sky, romantic in it’s reflection of Lance’s mind, was gray with clouds. The wind gave the early New York spring a cold chill. Maybe flowers today weren’t the best idea. They weren’t staying put, and petals were being blown away. He sighed and gave up on them before moving back to the bench to ease his aching legs, “I don’t know why I’m here.”, He spoke to the empty air in front of him, “My therapist said this would be good for me, but…”

Allura’s grave bore into his skull. _Loving daughter and selfless friend_. This was the second time Lance had ever been there, “I’m supposed to talk about how I feel. I don’t even know what that means… I don’t know how I feel.”, He took another deep breath, “I’ve… I’ve been doing better. I can mostly walk again, I have to use my walker but, I’m getting there.”

“This is weird right, talking to a grave? What’s this supposed to accomplish I don’t get it… Like I’m supposed to tell you everything and then it’ll magically all be better. Seems ridiculous to me.”, He groaned and stood again walking to the grave and sitting right next to it, “I miss you. A lot. Everyday gets better though. I… I joined Voltron, like you always wanted. Hunk finally got me off my butt and made me go. It’s a lot of fun. Everyone there is really nice… I started seeing Keith.”, He revealed, “He’s… He’s really good to me. I like him a lot. I’ve been, _afraid_ I guess. Afraid to move on… I thought moving on would mean forgetting you. Or that, maybe you’d be upset… But, Keith’s a great guy. And I think you would approve… I… I’m never gonna stop loving you y’know.”, And in some back alley of his mind he felt liberation stake its claim, “But I have to keep living… For both of us.”

Lance didn’t really know what he was expecting to happen after he’d said his peace. Obviously she wasn’t going to answer him, but surely there had to be something. Something like in all the movies or books where a gust of wind blows and suddenly one of her favorite flowers in sitting right in his hand letting him know she heard him. Alas this was reality, and all he got was a large drop of water landing on the lenses of his glasses. He pushed off his butt and back up to his walker. Taking one final look at the gravestone at his feet he sighed and walked away.

Maybe he would never get closure, at least not true closure. It’s not like one day he’d be able to wake up and just forget that she existed, that wasn’t how life worked. But he’d hoped for something more at the very least than what he got. Maybe he would have to try again. Although even he knew that coming back to the grave over and over in search of something that may never come sounded like the opposite of progress. He was sure his therapist would tell him the same thing too. He supposed that this was simply the reality of what he’d been through. And maybe coming to terms with that was a type of closure in and of itself. Maybe that was all he’d ever get, but maybe that was okay.

 

 

“How do I look?”

“Uhm- Really nice actually. Why are you wearing a suit?”

“ _Because_ ”, Keith said to Shiro, “I’m going to take Lance on a _proper_ date, we’re going to a really nice restaurant.”

“Oh shelling out the big bucks for him huh?”

“I just want him to have a good time Shiro. Here-”, He gestured to a bouquet of flowers sitting on the counter, “Do you think these are good? Do you think he’ll like them? They’re red tulips, the guy at the flower shop told me they mean unconditional love-”

“Love already, wow. Moving a little fast don’t you think-”

“First of all I’ve known him for over 6 months so this isn’t really _that_ fast, and second of all I’m not… well maybe I am- but I’m not going to tell him. That would be fast. They’re just flowers. With a nice meaning, and I want to do something nice for him.”

“Who knew my little brother was such a closet romantic.”, Shiro laughed tussling Keith’s hair. Keith grumbled and shrugged away from Shiro’s hand before looking in the mirror and beginning to work on his hair again.

“Don’t touch my hair I need to look good tonight. Don’t make fun of me just cause you don’t have a romantic bone in your body.”

“Adam- My _husband_ would beg to differ.”

“Yeah well he’s an idiot who married an idiot. You two were made for each other.”, Shiro just laughed.

“Whatever you say. Just go pick up Lance before you wind up being late from fussing over your appearance so much.”

Keith glanced and the time and cursed. Shiro was right at this rate he was going to be late, especially at this hour and with New York traffic. Way to make Lance feel special, be late for their first _real_ date. He grabbed the bouquet and scrambled for his car keys before incoherently yelling at Shiro to remember to lock the door on his way out. Getting in his car and starting it he practically slammed on the gas pedal as every sensible brain cell he had left was taken over by pure and utter chaotic gay panic. 

Thankfully he arrived at Lance’s house right on time, partially due to getting lucky with some traffic lights, and partially due to him going fast enough to warrant arrest on a count of reckless driving. Nonetheless he was there and at Lance’s apartment door on time. He knocked nervously, cursing himself for the way his hand stuttered inbetween pounds, when Mrs. McClain answered the door. 

“Keith.”, She smiled softly. He was expecting some sort of awkwardness from her due to the fact that he used to be Lance’s doctor but her smile was bright and warm as usual, “Come in, Lance is just finishing getting ready.”, Keith nodded and stood awkwardly as Mrs. McClain went to let Lance know he was there. 

“Mama- I said I wanted to get the door.”, He heard Lance whisper alongside the telltale sound of his walker coming down the hall. And needless to say Keith was floored. Lance looked godly in a suit, “H-hi Keith.”, He smiled.

“H-hi- these uhm… these are for you.”, He extended the flowers and his heart melted when he saw Lance smile.

“They’re beautiful. Uhm, mama will you put these in a vase?”, Rosa nodded and kissed Lance’s forehead before wishing them well, “So, you still haven’t told me exactly where you’re taking me”

“It’s a surprise”

 

 

“This is too much.”, Lance said seeing the private balcony table they had reserved at the 97th floor of one of the tallest buildings in New York, “Keith this has to be expensive-”

“I can afford it. I want to treat you right Lance. I really like you.”

“I really like you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Drop me a comment and let me know what you think!


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